Lately I find myself awakened between 3:30 and 4 am. For several weeks, I tried to combat this occurrence. I did all of the usual tricks such as changing my bedtime routine, laying still in an attempt to fall back asleep, getting a drink of water, medicating myself with Benadryl, etc. Often times I would surf the internet, wasting time on facebook, and eventually crash on the couch by the time I needed to be up getting ready for the day. Whatever the choice, I found myself exhausted throughout the day. Through the wise words of a friend, I started spending this time with God. Now I pray, read my Bible, and journal. Now my problem has turned into one of the greatest gifts of my day. God has blessed me with quiet time alone with Him where I can think clearly and have no distractions. I have always wanted to write, but never felt I had the time or ability to focus myself. I am so thankful that God has built this time into my otherwise busy and scattered schedule.
During 2011, God has truly opened up my eyes to the power of fasting and prayer. I have been on a journey for truth, wisdom, and discernment about many things. These times of focused prayer and meditation have pulled me closer to Him than ever. I just finished a 5-day Daniel Fast last week. This involved a vegetarian diet with some added restrictions. My prompting was because my family is relocating to a new town soon. My husband, Matt, and I are true locals, so this little 90-mile move is shaking our world up in a big way! I had many questions and worries. God spoke some amazing and sweet words to me that I wanted to share.
Don’t worry.
I kept praying for God to help me figure our family finances (I am the keeper of the budget in our house), since moving to the city will increase expenses for us. God kept pointing me to His word. Luke 12:22-26 says, “Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?”
I have read this passage many times in my life, however I could not wrap my brain around fully giving it over to Him. Sometimes we don’t know what surrender looks like if we have a stronghold in our life. I think the difference was in the fasting and prayer this time. I had no idea the magnitude of peace I was missing before I truly gave this over to Him! I have always struggled with worry and anxiety. The theme of what I worried about varied with the season of life I was in at the time. I always felt ashamed and embarrassed about this battle. It seemed like something a long time believer shouldn’t struggle over. I read something in Sarah Young’s book, Jesus Calling, that dislodged that notion for me. She writes, “Rather than struggling to disguise or deny your weakness, allow me to bless you richly through it” (p.235). Also, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 reads, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness…For when I am weak, then I am strong.” I only know the blessings He has poured out onto me over the past week; I can barely imagine the road ahead and joy that awaits throughout my life journey with this newfound freedom. This removal of worry has allowed me to truly trust God in all areas of my life. “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3
Listen.
You may be familiar with the passage, “Be still and know that I am God…” Psalm 46:10. I have spent years trying to figure this one out. Well, now I know that it is pretty much self-explanatory. The problem was that I never devoted more than a few minutes at a time on sporadic occasions trying to be quiet and listen. I never really knew what to do during this time. The key is devoting yourself to prayer and quiet without distractions, WITH a pen and the Bible in hand. God may choose to raise His booming audible voice at you, but more than likely it will be a whisper to your heart through scripture and prayer. So many times, God has spoken to me and I chalked it up to my over active brain. I have so many thoughts and ideas rolling around in my mind all of the time, it was hard to distinguish what was from Him and what was me trying to makes sense out of everything on my own. One of our pastors stated recently, “Sometimes people ask me how do I know if God is speaking to me?” He said, “If God is speaking, you will know.” I agree and will also add, just keep praying and asking Him. “Was that you or me Lord?” Sometimes our ears need retuning to His whispering to our hearts.
Matthew 7:7-11 states, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
God is always speaking to us. There is no magic formula or dance. You can’t be pious enough or well behaved enough. However you must pray, listen, be still, and go to His word. He is there waiting for us.
Live now.
This has been the theme of my heart for several months now. During the fast, God blessed this notion even more. Paul stated in Philippians 4:12, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Stop waiting for the grass to be greener. So many joys and adventures are waiting on us each day. The cliché is true, “Don’t let the parade pass you by.” In the midst of our day to day mundane, there is something holy going on in our midst. Moments of joy in breathtaking sunrises, laughter with friends, kisses from mom, words to be spoken. No matter our situation, He is always with us. (Joshua 1:5) As a mom, I battle with balancing cleaning my house, running errands, paying bills, changing diapers, making meals, and the list goes on. We must be intentional about praying and asking God, “What should I be doing right now Lord?” Sometimes it is items on those to-do lists. But more often, it is shoving over the rubble in the living room floor and playing with my two and four year old children. I found myself in a place after becoming a parent where my goals didn’t match up with my lifestyle. I was too busy with other things to have time for the most important matters. During the fast, God brought me to this passage again of Mary and Martha. Luke 10:38-42 “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” So, I am thankfully in a treasured moment where I am sitting at His feet, asking nothing from Him. I just sit in worship as I wait for His lead. I am trying not to question Him, only follow. Join me, it’s awesome!
Love,
Alice
