Almost Perfect
“Surely you have granted him unending blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence.” Psalm 21:6
For several years, I have battled my natural tendency to see my glass in life as being half full. I have a knack in naturally finding what is not perfect and either whining about it or trying to make it better (which is exhausting). Sometimes I mull it over in my mind constantly. Other times, I vent and drag whatever poor and unsuspecting soul is listening into the pit with me, usually my optimistic husband. The result is a perpetual cloud looming overhead and shadowing otherwise sunny places in my life, coupled with a general lack of contentment. However, last fall I experienced a breakthrough. Ann Voskamp has written a much talked about book, “One Thousand Gifts”, and it has opened my mind and heart to a full and overflowing glass.
She speaks of letting moments rest for what they truly are, and praying for God to give you a heart of thankfulness. Then, she went on to make a list of 1,000 things she was thankful for in her life. For example, her entries included “jam on toast’ and “hair blowing in the wind cold wild”. I knew she was onto something, so I did the same thing. (Of course I had to rewrite my list after I started in a little green journal to satisfy my OCD self.)
Well, the proof is in the pudding folks! As I am sitting on the couch belting this entry out, I am overcome with my beautiful and “almost perfect” life. (BTW, that was supposed to make you crack a smile or even laugh out loud if you know me well.) The afternoon sunlight is pouring in the glass doors in our Green Hills apartment, the wind chimes are striking a sweet melody with the gentle breeze, Matt and I are house hunting and dreaming big on a daily basis, my kids are taking a nap...at the same time (GRIN), and I just ate a delicious omelette with Trader Joe’s salsa. Old Alice would have been frantically cleaning something or worse yet, sitting on Facebook looking at her friends’ awesome photos and reading about their adventures while thinking, “My ship will come someday, but not today. Today I am sitting on the couch like a loser in a 900 square foot apartment, eating a freakin’ omelette at 3 pm because I didn’t have time for lunch (AND I got lost driving all around Nashville for 2 hours this am, it was the only edible thing in the fridge, and I ate the same thing I ate for breakfast btw). Our dream house was sold out from under us this morning. Oh yeah, and the fire alarm has been going off in the hallway ALL afternoon. Sob, sob, sob!” Now, doesn’t she sound pathetic. Poor girl, she had such blessing all around her and never had a clue!
I can not rewrite the past, and I don’t even want to. Whatever unnecessary grief I have thrust on myself as a result of negativity or lack of contentment brought me where I am today. My life isn’t perfect, and it is not supposed to be. That is part of the beauty. It gives a need for grace, and I love that! We can experience complete joy and fullness in life with a heart of thanksgiving in Christ. It sounds simple, but hey - that’s the way He does things!
Blessings,
Alice
