The Extravagant Adventures of Robert and Molly

  So Matt has started a new bedtime tradition - he writes and recites a new original story every night for the kids in the series, The Extravagant Adventures of Robert and Molly. It all started one night about a week ago. Addison would rather die than go to bed when it is time. So she proceeded to beg feverishly with lots of tears for "just one more story." (This is when I quickly evacuate the area.) Matt was stuck. At the time, I think he thought it was easier to quickly make up a story to appease her than grab one from the shelf. 15 minutes later he was still going, and roars of laughter were ensuing from her room. He finally ended for the evening, and the sweet girl eagerly grabbed his arm and said, "Daddy, can we go rent the movie?" Well, that was all he needed, and so the tradition will continue. Every night, both kids beg for the next adventure while hanging on his every word. I am not sure who enjoys this more!

On another note, you probably noticed the empty room with a mattress on the floor. We are having the wood floors refinished starting tomorrow. We are so excited! Unfortunately, the kids and I will have to evacuate. But the timining is perfect for a week long trip to visit family over Thanksgiving. Then, we can finally get moved in for real!

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Summer of Swim!

I actually wrote this at the end of summer, but I couldn't figure out how to upload my pictures at the time. Since then, we have started homeschooling, bought a house, traveled out of state without the kids, and a lot of other things I am going to blog about in the near future :) So, whatever - here it is...

    This has definitely been the summer of chlorine, bathing suits, and endless loads of towel washing. The summer of swim! Seriously, I could tell anyone how to get from Green Hills to Prarie Life Gym in Cool Springs with my eyes closed and both hands tied behind my back. We spent 5 weeks burning up the road Monday thru Friday heading to our swim lessons. Our new friend to the famous (no lie - she seriously is THE go to survival swim instructor to all the Nashville celebs and soccer moms alike), Kennette Pyles, taught my children how to jump in the water fully clothed head to toe, swim under water, and flip onto their back to get air and call for help. We are so excited! To prove our zeal - if you came over to visit this summer, my husband enjoyed randomly throwing the kids up way too high in the pool "to see what happens" to make sure he got his money's worth. Very scary, but they "usually" liked it for some weird reason :).

   This was taken right before his swim test. Yes, I am aware he is wearing high waters; we gave the jeans away after this picture was taken. It is amazing how fast they grow in between seasons! We were so nervous. He freaked out earlier that week and did this wild "tornado spiral under water thing" when he ran out of breath vs. rolling to his back and floating. Thankfully, Mrs. Kennette was there to intervene. However, he did UH-mazing on his test day! I actually think the clunky shoes helped him remember to not kick and let his feet rise to the water's surface.

   Here is a picture of Fisher and Mrs. Kennette after his test. Addie acted all goofy and wouldn't take a picture. She did equally awesome!

    We saw her at WalMart a couple of weeks ago and Addison just kept staring at her. It was so funny, because I think it was the only time we saw the rest of her body, from the shoulders down, and not in a wet suit. She was all smiles and of course -  there to buy goggles for a student. Kennette is precious to our family and helped turn an almost tragedy into triumph. I would like to note that I had found another instructor closer to our home, but I specifically wanted Kennette because of her story. She became an instructor in honor of her 3 year old son, Ryan. He passed away several years ago while on a family camping vacation to the lake. Like Fisher, everyone was watching the kids. However he unknowingly wandered away and drowned nearby.  She flew to Florida, received survival swim training for her then 18 month old daughter, and later became certified to teach the lessons. She is the first in the area to receive certification and has saved hundreds of lives by sharing her knowledge. 

    Kennette's amazing passion to honor Ryan and help children learn to survive in the water has deeply impacted the Nashville area. 

   If you are remotely nearby, give her a call! Here is the web address to her website, The Ryan Pyles Aquatic Foundation - www.rpafswim.wordpress.com

Blessings,

Alice

100 Posts Challenge

Ok, so it has been a while my friends! (I know all 8 of you have been sighing as each day passed with no entries, haha.) Seriously, I have realized that if I want to be a writer I must...ahem...write. So, I have issued myself a 100 post challenge! It is not much of a challenge unless there is a deadline, so I give myself one year. That would even out to be 8-9 posts a month, which will be much more intense than my current pace. Don't you just love accountability?! Send me any helpful links on making my blog better. By the way, this counts as #1!  ;)

I leave you with this:

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

I am THE QUEEN of not following through, so ask me about this often!

Much love,
A

Fisher, Our Miracle

This is a hard entry to write this morning. As I recollect the events of the past 3 weeks, I am amazed at how much life our family has experienced. We went to Lake Tansi to visit with Matt's family and then to my parents to swim and visit over Memorial weekend. The kids love their grandparents so much, and we had an awesome time. Addie told me that Saturday, "Momma, today is the best day of my whole life!" Here are a few pics Matt snapped while at the lake.

On Monday, we swam and ate lunch outside at my parents' house. The kids played for hours with Uncle Brandon and Aunt Becca. (For some reason we never remember to take pics at their house, but let me assure you it was great.) My mom, dad, my husband, and my younger brother were all visiting together as well. Both kids jumped off the diving board, Fisher for the first time. He was so proud! I remember thinking, "What a perfect day!"

As the day wore on, we all relaxed, too much really. Everyone was helping watch the kids, so I loved actually being able to sit for a while. As a mom, you constantly play the counting game. At the park, talking to the other moms while watching one child on the slide and pushing the other on a swing - 1,2. Every few seconds, you look around for their faces and count them all to make sure everyone is still accounted for. That day swimming, I did the same from a lawn chair. At one point I counted Addie, but couldn't find Fisher. He had been playing with a watering can "helping" water the flowers, picnic table, and any other object he could find. I wondered where he was, glanced at the pool, and then decided he must still be by the sidewalk playing, as the pool was calm and everyone was out.

This is the part that kills me; it really hurts. I leaned back into my chair. I had full confidence that Fisher must have been just around the corner still watering, safe. This is totally not like me, but for whatever reason that is what I did. But thankfully, I serve an amazing God that graciously intervenes when I fail. God was prompting my heart, but I didn't respond acutely or swiftly. So, the Lord did a modern day miracle. He used my brother, Will, to save the day and my son.

Now if you know Will, his name is enough. If you don't, let me paint a picture. Will is 20 years old. He has a frail frame standing about 5' 6" and can't see very well without his glasses (that he was not wearing that day as we were swimming). Will does exactly what he wants all the time which would include eating honey buns, clapping and vocal ticking or anything else like that if he thinks it will get on your nerves, and he is Autistic. He is quite sharp and can read at a 4th grade level, but he does have multiple disabilities and developmental delays. It was only seconds later after I settled into my chair, that Will walked across the patio and stood looking down at his feet and the water. He calmly replied, "Mom, Fisher is in the pool." Fast forward 2 seconds and 3 adults were in the pool clinging to a sputtering and crying child. We took him to the ER as we were unsure if he ingested water and feared dry drowning, which can happen up to 24 hours after the incident. They did X-rays and fully evaluated and released him. His lungs were completely clear and he was totally fine.

I know a miracle when I see one, and this is it. I should be blogging about my dead 3 year old son right now, but God chose to intervene.

"But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. For you bless the righteous, O Lord; you cover him with favor as with a shield." Psalm 5:11-12

I pray over my children every night for angels to guard over them and for the Lord to build a hedge of protection around our family. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to see His protection in action, as I am sure this type of thing happens constantly without my knowledge.

For the past 3 weeks, Matt and I have gone through a lot in regards to Fisher's near death experience. We have felt extreme guilt for not seeing him fall in and watching him more closely. We took his life jacket off to eat and were getting ready to go back inside, but we had a gap of several minutes where he was not protected. There was no splash or movement in the water, and we were not the ones who found him first. We were both sitting 10 feet away, and he was dying. (Please refrain from commenting by trying to straighten me out. I know it is no one's fault. Everyone thought someone else "had" him. It happens. I know.) Matt and I had nightmares. Fisher had night terrors. We either slept in his bed or put him in ours for a week. When we did sleep, it was only a couple hours here and there. What if God had not intervened? Why did my child live and others don't? We knew God would have walked with us through grief as well, but we kept thinking about what it would be like if he had not made it.

But slowly, mercifully, the Lord is piecing us back together. Exactly 3 Mondays later, Fisher started ISR (Infant Survival Rescue) swimming lessons. They are quite expensive, but worth every penny. They teach small children and babies how to hold their breath, flip over on their back, and float while they breathe and call for help. As the children age, they teach them to flip back over on their tummy and swim to safety. For the "test" at the end of several weeks of one-on-one training, they jump into the pool fully clothed, shoes and all. They flip, float, and swim. 86% of child drownings happen fully clothed. They are usually playing with toys or trying to reach something near the water's edge, as sweet Fisher was with his watering can. I always thought my kids would just learn to swim sort of on their own, like my siblings and I did growing up. Please be more proactive about this that I was, and get them trained at a young age. Don't rely on life jackets (unless you are at the lake). Use water wings if you must, and stay by their side. A friend told me recently, "Kids don't learn to swim unless their mom gets her hair wet." So get in there with them! Teach them to respect water and let them know they will sink if they can't swim yet. Practice floating, and do the ISR lessons if you can find them in your area.

Today, life is good but different. We are a little on edge, especially concerning our kids' safety. We have taught Addie to float on her back, and she can swim under water for several feet. She is in hog heaven about it! We just made a bid on a bank owned property, our first house if we had the highest bid. It is a season marked with joy, but apprehension as well. As people, we all wonder...Can I do it? Do I have what it takes? What do I do next? Can we survive or make it through this? I can not imagine how it would be walking alone without my Savior. If you do not feel God in your life or wonder if He even exists, let me assure you that He does. Start praying, asking God if He is real to show himself to you. Read a Bible. Pray for Him to place people in your life to help you find Him. (He does not leave you if you are a believer. It is the other way around). He is good, real, and loves you like a maniac. But He will not come into your life uninvited. If you are a believer, invite Him into your life. Sound strange? Well, let me explain. Satan is real as well. Scripture tells us,

"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8

Satan has power on Earth and pushes his way into our lives. The Lord is a gentleman, and he waits for us to ask Him into our life. Notice what I am saying, Satan is NOT more powerful by any means, but he has been turned loose on earth. We must be intentional about bathing ourselves and others in prayer for God to be involved in the circumstances we encounter day to day. Ask God for protection, guidance, and wisdom. It is a beautiful picture really. We ask, and then we truly see when God answers our prayers so we can give Him glory instead of chalking it up to luck.

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find. knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8

Well, this was long but I wanted to praise God for what all He has been doing in our midst!

Blessings,
Alice

Almost Perfect

“Surely you have granted him unending blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence.”  Psalm 21:6

   For several years, I have battled my natural tendency to see my glass in life as being half full. I have a knack in naturally finding what is not perfect and either whining about it or trying to make it better (which is exhausting). Sometimes I mull it over in my mind constantly. Other times, I vent and drag whatever poor and unsuspecting soul is listening into the pit with me, usually my optimistic husband. The result is a perpetual cloud looming overhead and shadowing otherwise sunny places in my life, coupled with a general lack of contentment. However, last fall I experienced a breakthrough. Ann Voskamp has written a much talked about book, “One Thousand Gifts”, and it has opened my mind and heart to a full and overflowing glass. 

   She speaks of letting moments rest for what they truly are, and praying for God to give you a heart of thankfulness. Then, she went on to make a list of 1,000 things she was thankful for in her life. For example, her entries included “jam on toast’ and “hair blowing in the wind cold wild”. I knew she was onto something, so I did the same thing. (Of course I had to rewrite my list after I started in a little green journal to satisfy my OCD self.) 

   Well, the proof is in the pudding folks! As I am sitting on the couch belting this entry out, I am overcome with my beautiful and “almost perfect” life. (BTW, that was supposed to make you crack a smile or even laugh out loud if you know me well.) The afternoon sunlight is pouring in the glass doors in our Green Hills apartment, the wind chimes are striking a sweet melody with the gentle breeze, Matt and I are house hunting and dreaming big on a daily basis, my kids are taking a nap...at the same time (GRIN), and I just ate a delicious omelette with Trader Joe’s salsa. Old Alice would have been frantically cleaning something or worse yet, sitting on Facebook looking at her friends’ awesome photos and reading about their adventures while thinking, “My ship will come someday, but not today. Today I am sitting on the couch like a loser in a 900 square foot apartment, eating a freakin’ omelette at 3 pm because I didn’t have time for lunch (AND I got lost driving all around Nashville for 2 hours this am, it was the only edible thing in the fridge, and I ate the same thing I ate for breakfast btw). Our dream house was sold out from under us this morning. Oh yeah, and the fire alarm has been going off in the hallway ALL afternoon. Sob, sob, sob!” Now, doesn’t she sound pathetic. Poor girl, she had such blessing all around her and never had a clue! 

   I can not rewrite the past, and I don’t even want to. Whatever unnecessary grief I have thrust on myself as a result of negativity or lack of contentment brought me where I am today. My life isn’t perfect, and it is not supposed to be. That is part of the beauty. It gives a need for grace, and I love that! We can experience complete joy and fullness in life with a heart of thanksgiving in Christ. It sounds simple, but hey - that’s the way He does things!

Blessings,

Alice

Cast Your Burdens!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”       Matthew 11:28-30

Life as a woman is full of burdens. Concern and the juggling of many things is the main source of worry and stress for most ladies. Caring for our children, doing ministry, managing our own physical and spiritual well being, running a household, relationship building with our husbands, and possibly juggling a career to only name a few. As I was discussing a way to get everything done this morning with my husband, the Lord graciously reminded me that while I do have responsibilities in this life, I am never to shoulder the burden alone. He desires to transform our massive to-do lists from a heavy load of burdens and worries to a calling of service filled with peace and joy. The Lord inspired me to rewrite this passage in a way that you may relate.

“Come to me (dear mother, wife, daughter, teacher, business woman, and friend), and all you who are weary and burdened (who isn’t after that list!), and I will give you rest (from all of your planning, taxi driving, checkbook balancing, grocery shopping, diaper changing, refereeing, and being everything for everybody). Take my yoke upon you (of complete surrender) and learn from me (as I am the ultimate teacher and the one who REALLY gets stuff done anyway), for I am gentle and humble in heart (and would never make you feel guilty when you drop the ball, because you will my dear!), and you will find rest for your souls (this is a promise, and you desperately need my rest if you are to carry on). For my yoke is easy and my burden is light (because I love you THAT much to carry you completely each day. I know, I know...the deal of the century. Take me up on it!).” Matthew 11:28-30 (New Alice Version)

Have a blessed weekend!

Our Answer (Part 3 of 3)

   We knew we wanted a heavy Christian emphasis on our children’s education, so our next step was to investigate private schools in the area. They were crazy expensive; some were as high as $32,000.00 a year for kindergarten! I knew this would result in me going back to work full time to pay for it, but I was willing to look into whatever option God may be leading us toward. The only problem with that was every time I completely stilled myself before the Lord, I knew He was calling me to stay at home full time with my son who was just turning three. I even had a nagging feeling the past 3 1/2 months that I should have not taken on the part time job at the local YMCA, so I could focus on being a better mom and wife. Even in the midst of that thought, we chugged along making phone calls, looking over the budget, and even going to a local private school open house. The school and staff were amazing. They gave us a tour, the kids loved the kindergarten classroom, and the teacher was a dream. They talked much of the Lord and how they emphasize Christ in the school and activities.

  However, something else was brewing. I left that day with a complete knowledge that we could do this at home, and somehow we could do it better. This was a confusing feeling. I had several education classes in college, but neither my husband nor myself have professional teaching experience. All I can say was God has been drawing our hearts home, metaphorically and physically. That next week was Ash Wednesday. For Lent, I decided to eliminate meat from my diet, to dump junk food (for the most part), and completely surrender this to God. (Meaning, not badgering Matt every five minutes about giving me an answer.) I bit my tongue, prayed for him to come to me with his decision, and prayed it was the same as mine. God truly is a compassionate Lord and knew that that I was about to chew my tongue off. Therefore, He thankfully did not make me wait long. The next morning Matt stuck his head in the bathroom while I was showering and said something like, “You know we should home school this year, and we could always send the kids to school at some point; it’s not like we have to do it forever. You are going to be at home with Fisher anyway, so you might as well. I just got through reading this book on Tim Tiebow and he was home schooled. It looks like it worked out for him.”

  Words could not describe my elation! We were on the same page, and we had finally made a decision. I stopped filling out financial aid paperwork. I stopped scouring the Internet for mommy jobs. I became the first person on the planet to attend a Dave Ramsey conference, come home, and quit my part time job. (Turns out we were still wasting enough money each month to justify this.) Then, I started directing my energies toward home school research. Which by the way is CRAZY! There are so many resources out there that I have already put myself on a break. The bottom line is, pray without ceasing about all things, especially your child’s education. “Do not be normal. Normal is broke!” (Ha, see I learned something from Dave. ) But seriously, normal is of this world. Christians are aliens on earth, and we are supposed to be acting weird and marching to a different beat. Again, it may be different for your family. Just make sure you are seeking God’s will and not basing your decisions on what you think you can accomplish with your own gifts and abilities. God's plan is to display his awesome power through imperfect people.

  In addition, God could have told me right away what to do. However, the process was a pivotal learning experience. That is life. It is a journey of day-to-day steps that lead us into a walk throughout our lives. He is showing me how to find him and find joy along the journey.

Contrary to Public Opinion... (Part 2 of 3)

When moving to Nashville we focused on crime rate in areas of town, location to my husband’s employer, location to the church plant, and public school ranking according to a few websites and test scores. A friend and local public school teacher advised me the good schools were the ones where teachers cared. Then she named them off. We found one on her list with a rental property in our price range. We viewed this as a fall back, so if God was leading us into public school, we would be happy with the school choice. I started the process of applying for the lottery drawing for a magnet school, but I had a nagging feeling like God was telling me it was a waste of time and energy as he had other plans for us. This was relieving as it narrowed down the possibilities a great deal, but we still had no idea where he was leading us. We were leaning towards public school at this point, since that was all we had ever experienced.

My husband and I had a similar thought when this all began that went something like this, "we went to public school and turned out fine”. But did we really? His desires in school were to have fun and to do just enough work to pass. I wanted to do as well as I could academically, provided I did not have to study or do more than an hour of homework a day. So I took whatever grades that effort yielded. We mostly focused on popularity and our groups of friends. I would go as far as saying that school was 75% socialization and 25% academics. The gap widened
further by the time we were in high school.

Socialization is an important part of life, but my children already go to play groups, the YMCA, church, and have a large extended family. For this reason, socialization was not on my list of concerns. However, the impact that teachers and children would possibly have on my children in a negative way was a growing concern. Matt and I want to lead our children down straight paths to God. I do not feel like exposure to alternative religious and moral beliefs is good for my 5 year old, as it would be taking a step backwards from our family goals. We do not have a desire to raise happy, freethinking children. Of course, I want my children to have a joyful childhood; we do not strive to dominate over them. Rather, the opposite is true in that we want to nurture and care for them in a loving and simple environment. Matt and I have a goal of raising Christian adults who are world changers for kingdom of heaven.

Academics are very important to us as well. We want our children to have early exposure to foreign language, the arts, as well as standard subjects. Tennessee does not have a great record of accomplishment for public school education. In fact, we are among the lowest five in the country for test scores. Now, I can feel parents of public schoolers blood pressure rising at this point, so let me say that what is right for one family is completely different for another. However, at this point Matt and I knew public school was out, for now anyway.

Our Journey to Learn (Part 1 of 3)

Parenthood is full of adventures; our latest excursion is exploring the world of education. We knew when we moved away from Cookeville, this decision of how to educate our children suddenly became more complicated. Without the familiarity of our lifelong surroundings, we re-evaluated our plan. I will honestly say that we did not have much of a plan to begin with, but we were comfortable with our kids going to public school since we had attended and graduated from public school in this rural community. Now the deck of cards had changed. We were in the city, and we were leery to say the least. Suddenly crime rate, morality, liberalism, materialism, and quality of education appeared to be in jeopardy. We were comfortable before and saw no need to be alarmed by any of these issues. After much prayer and looking at our options, we ended up moving to one of the more wealthy parts of Nashville, since the general feedback I received from internet search engines and talking to a few local residents were that they had the best public schools. This reassured me, briefly.

      After the holidays passed, my daughter’s kindergarten registration was again in the horizon. As I prayed about the situation, I felt that God did not want me to just ask other families what they were doing. He was calling me and my husband to search scriptures, take tours, read books, and study our children. God has been forcing us to focus on what we want our family to look like, from the inside out, and analyze how a child’s educational experience shapes their spiritual, emotional, and physical self. After all, if we roam through parenting without strong and focused intentions, what will we produce? Mature Christian leaders? Maybe. Probably not. I am going to lay this out in multiple posts over the next several weeks. This is mainly because we are still in the middle of discerning His will for us, but also to break down the process in hopes of helping other parents as they embark down this road. This is an individual journey, and I trust that God will lead us all down different paths. However, I am convinced that He desires all parents to walk hand in hand with Him.

Solutide in the Shower (Part 2 of 2)

Three years ago, I was pregnant with our son. Matt and I were both working full time, and his job required he drive 90 miles each way to and from work daily. Working full time was in a word…crazy. I was stressed out, hateful, worried about my daughter all of the time, I resented my job, ran on only a few hours of sleep each night, and had spiritually come to the driest place in my life. I knew what it was like to be well watered with God’s word, experience His presence in prayer, and grow in faith. We had walked closely since my teen years when I had a spiritual awakening to the fact that there was more to God than a salvation experience, but a relationship. However, the cares of the world and parenthood had choked out my thoughts of growing closer to Him. I felt justified in the fact that I had a new baby girl, and I was at a loss as to how to remedy my spiritual situation. I felt I had no time, no energy to get up early and have devotion, and I was a walking zombie. Physically dead. Spiritually on the brink of extinction.

            My desire to be a stay at home mom consumed my every thought. I even highlighted the days until my due date with my son on my desk calendar at the office, counting down until I had maternity leave. I resented my work when truthfully, I was blessed with this position. Searching for over a year, I even went to the parking lot the day before the interview and prayed if it was God’s will for me to be offered the job. My husband was still in college at the time, and I was our sole financial provider. I had been a case manager, and the long hours and stress had gotten to me. This job was a miracle and God’s rest from that position. Rather than being thankful, I wanted something else. After many prayers, tears, and whining, my husband and I had decided that it would be best if I quit my full time job to be a stay at home mom. I still stand by this decision, but we had much to learn.

Three months into my maternity leave, I quit my full time job and became a stay at home mom. I had arrived! (Of course one never does “arrive”, but I sure thought I had.) My “mommy bucket list” was in full swing. We stayed in our pajamas, went to playgroups, and I started attending Community Bible Study (this was BIG on my stay at home mom checklist). I wanted to be back into God’s word and to achieve balance again. I also needed Godly friendships and knew this would be a good place to make connections. It was as I had been in a sandstorm in my life; the dust settled and I could finally take an account of my life and get my bearings. Over the next year, I started serving in church and Community Bible Study in the children’s programs. The house soon became a permanent wreck, our bank account dwindled, my daughter turned two (and boy was she good at it!). I dreamed of days of ease, and chugged through the muck of today. My spiritual life improved, but there was always something missing.

 Three weeks ago, my husband got a raise at work. It was a monumental day for our family, namely me. It is not that we can now afford to buy a home in Green Hills, rather than rent the cheapest apartment we could find. That day he told me his new salary, God reminded me of a prayer I uttered 3 years ago. “Lord, I have done the math. (Hahahaha, humor me here!) If Matt can make ____, then we can get by. It won’t be a lavish lifestyle, but it will be enough. That is all we need. Oh yeah, and thank you Jesus, yada…yada…yada. Sincerely, the selfish idiot.” Of course, he has cared for us this entire time despite my math, but we are now at that number. Moreover, I was still not happy. In a word, God opened my eyes to the sin I have been unknowingly struggling with for so long. Whether it was graduating college, getting a job, quitting the job, staying at home, trying to earn more and more money, it was never enough. My true desire had been for things apart from God. I am not saying that I did not love God or want to be close to Him, but I had become idolatrous. God revealed that my lack of contentment had driven a wedge in between our relationship, and I became like the world. Here I was supposed to be salt and light, yet I never had enough.

The Bible states in 1 Timothy 6:6-10, "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."

Do not be confused; I do not remotely desire a weekly mani and pedi, exclusive private schools for my children, designer bags and shoes, and annual vacations to Europe. However, I have wanted to be comfortable. I ran towards the goal of ease my entire life. I wanted Matt’s salary high enough to where I could slide my card and not think about it too much. I wanted a child that did what I said immediately, the first time. I wanted a clean and organized home (provided by someone else), zero cellulite, to be debt free, and all kinds of other things and circumstances that had no eternal weight. They were not bad in and of themselves, but the fact that they became my focus made them sin.

The past three weeks have been so free. My goal is to approach each day with open palms, thankful for all of God’s blessings. As I sat in the shower that one evening with palms lifted, I realized this was how I had been living my life. I had the correct posture. I was open to God and had extended my palms open for His blessing all along. But my hands were open wide with fingers extended. I was straining trying to grab beyond my reach. Instead of getting increasing amounts, the water was all running between my fingers. Blessings wasted. Slipping away and down the drain. Sure, I received wonderful things over the past 5 years of parenthood, but there was so much more available. It is only when we draw the hands close, fingers together, and palms cupped that we receive a full measure. A cup that overflows.

Therefore, we are left to figure out how to live this out. How do we obtain a life of complete contentment and thankfulness? While this world is not our home, and our ultimate goal is to be united with God in heaven, we live here now. We have been warned in James 1:22-24, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.”

Our attitudes and heart of thankfulness are the only cure for selfishness that plagues us. Pray for God to show us the beauty, holiness, and blessing in the once mundane, ordinary, and reality that once left me searching for more. It is that simple. Thankfulness. A thankful heart is the cure for discontentment. Palms lifted, cupped, eyes wide open for the gift.

My potty training son peed on the rug. “Thank you God for this precious boy that is able to urinate.” We have spent all of the grocery money for the week and are out of fabric softener sheets. “Thank you God for clean clothes and a full pantry.” I catch a glimpse of my stretch marks and flabby belly while in Zoomba class. “Thank you God for the love scars of pregnancy and my 2 kids.” I wonder if we will ever pay off my husband’s student loans that are currently in deferment. “Thank you God for our college educations. Thank you God! Thank you for it all!”

Solutide in the Shower (Part 1 of 2)

As a mother to a 3 and 4 year old, most epiphanies come to me in the oasis I have created in our home, the bathroom. Although I have an occasional guest “break into” my haven, it is usually the one place I can go during awake hours of the day and experience solitude, and a locked door. I am usually up early in the mornings and sit on the sofa for a devotion and Bible study time. However, there is something divine that happens in these bathroom encounters as I sit on the tub floor with all of the hot water beating my body. I close my eyes and pray, worship, ask questions, listen, and dream. One such moment happened last week, and I wanted to share it with you.

Beneath the sin and selfishness, there grows in me a deep desire to honor God and grow ever closer to Him. My walk with God is comparable to my observation of an onion.  When cooking, I never use the top layer. In fact, depending on how long it has been hanging out in the kitchen, I continue to cut, peel, and throw away the dried out or bad layers until I get to the good stuff. It is now suitable for cooking. It was not worthless before, but the bad was on top of the good. The taste and flavor was not yet accessible or useable. God does the same thing with us. He sharply and precisely exposes sin and eradicates it, as long as we are yielded to his work in our life. It takes patience and work on His part, a yielding on our part. With that being said, I have come face the ugly layer once again in myself. At first, I was embarrassed it is even a struggle. I asked, “Surely not me LORD; I am more spiritually mature that that!” Nevertheless, I once again have been humbled and am being pruned of another hidden sin in my life. This story starts 3 years ago, after the birth of our second child. 
(To be continued tomorrow, I promise! Perfectionist at work here!)

An Update

My last blog entry was 4 months ago. In an effort to be more consistent, I have decided to attempt an entry a day for a while. God has called me to write. I don’t have much more direction than that, so this is my worship and obedience. My plan is to chronicle my life in hopes that it will help me and my readers as God fits together the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle I call my life.

A lot has happened since September; we found an apartment and moved to Nashville - (we are still trying to cram 8 1/2 years of life in this 2 bedroom space). We have parted with things I once treasured, and crammed a little too much into storage. On the upside, cleaning is easier, and I am amazed at how little we really do need compared to what I thought was necessary for day-to-day life. In September, I started selling jewelry for Guy and Eva. That went well from the beginning, but is very sluggish now as I am in a new town. I am struggling to get going again as I do not like the idea of asking people I have only talked to a couple of times. I can see that prayer is needed in this area. I also got a part time job working at the local YMCA in the Y Play department. God is growing our faith as we are financially challenged in our new budget, but we have been diligent to live within our means and he has honored that effort. God has shown us on a daily basis that he will provide for us as I continue to “mostly” stay at home with the kids and add balance to our lives.

We had the craziness and fun of the holidays, ate too much, and have FINALLY gotten into a routine again. Fisher started potty training last weekend. He is making progress, but it will take patience on all of our parts. He is so cute in those tiny tighty whiteys! Speaking of the little man, today is his 3^rd birthday. As I type, he is snuggled up beside me holding his 2 crisp dollar bills that fell out of his sweet card from Neena and Poppy. We are going to play and do all things Fisher today. I am thinking of trains, cars, and waffles (any form of bread is his favorite food). Tomorrow night we will party with Nashville friends at Chickfila. Matt and I are both attending interdenominational Bible studies, and loving them. I pray that good friendships form as well as a deeper relationship to the LORD and increased knowledge of His word.

Forward Church is doing great. We started meeting at Murrell Elementary School on Sunday mornings. This enables us to have better facilities for ministry and frees up the church financially. The church is growing, and we are developing relationships. Matt has stepped into coordinating the set up and tear down crew each week. This week we are launching the kid’s ministry area. We are very excited to be a part, and we are hoping to start a 242 or Bible study soon. There you have it, the past 4 months in a nutshell. Now I don’t feel so bad about not blogging; we have been BUSY!